Archive for the 'Emotional' Category

Dec 31

The Power of Less

Emotional, Financial, Mental, Physical Jason Mitchener 1 Comment »

Welcome back!

One of my favorite blogs to read is Zen Habits by Leo Babauta. Leo writes about many of the same subjects I do here on Forward Habit but in his own unique way. I don’t consider him a competitor, but another source that can help you attain your personal development goals.

Leo just released his book The Power of Less which teaches us how to simplify our lives so that we have more time (and money!) to focus on the things that are really important to us. In our ever-evolving world, it can be too easy to get caught up in the busy-ness and complexity of life. Leo’s book looks like a good aid to help declutter our lives both physically and emotionally.

I will post an in-depth review of Leo’s book the Power of Less in the coming weeks, but for now you can check it out on Amazon here:

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Dec 19

How to Really Make a Difference in People’s Lives

Emotional, Spiritual Jason Mitchener 2 Comments »

WM2006 Fan Fest Stuttgart - Volunteer
Creative Commons License photo credit: Heraklit

Fox has been broadcasting a new show called Secret Millionaire. The premise of the show is that a wealthy individual spends a week incognito in one of the poorest areas of the country. The millionaire lives on minimum wage during the week and has to get to know members of his adopted community. At the end of the week he decides what people or organizations to help by giving at least $100,000 of his own money. The millionaire reveals to the people that he’s been lying about his identity and hands them checks for anywhere from $10,000 to $100,000. After all the checks are given out, the millionaire usually reflects on how his life has been changed by seeing how poor people truly live and how he’s glad he was able to make a difference in their lives through his financial gifts.

I thought I would enjoy watching the show since I love shows that help people out like ABC’s Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Instead I’ve been disgusted by the show.

Why Secret Millionaire Disgusts Me

  • The millionaire thinks he’s toughed it out by living a week in poor people’s shoes. I’m sorry but the millionare still doesn’t truly know what it’s like to be poor. After his week of “toughing it out” he gets to go back to his mansion, his yacht, and his Ferrari. He doesn’t have to worry about where the next paycheck is going to come from or if he’s going to survive next week.
  • The show gives the impression writing a check will really make a difference in people’s lives. I’m not saying money isn’t important in helping people, but there’s more to it than that. On the most recent episode, a multi-millionaire software company owner named Greg Haerr meets a teen named “Wheels” at a North Vegas skate park. Wheels was born with spina bifida. Despite being confined to a wheelchair, he does some awesome stunts on the ramps including a backflip. Wheels tells Greg he likes teaching other disabled teens how to deal with their disability and that he would like to someday start his own wheelchair company. At the end of the show, Greg gives Wheels a check for $20,000 toward starting the company. That’s wonderful, but will it really make a difference in Wheels’ life? Having once received a much larger amount, I’d have to say no. Greg has built a successful company, so wouldn’t it have been great if he took Wheels on as an apprentice of sorts and taught him firsthand how to build a company? Now that would have really made a difference in Wheels’ life.

Most of us don’t have the ability to donate large sums of money. What can we do to really make a difference in people’s lives?

Ways You Can Make a Difference

  1. Pay a weekly visit to a nursing home resident. During the holidays, nursing homes get many visitors from large groups of Christmas carolers to individuals dressed as Santa bearing gifts. But when the holidays are over, some nursing home residents don’t get any visitors. They spend the day in their room watching game shows and soap operas on television. You can brighten a nursing home resident’s life by paying a weekly visit to play a game of checkers, talk about their lives, or just share a cup of coffee.
  2. Become a Big Brother or Big Sister. Many young people don’t have positive role models in their lives. By donating an hour each week spending time with one of these youths you can be that role model. Being a Big Brother or Big Sister isn’t difficult, but it can have a lasting influence. You can find out more at http://www.bbbs.org
  3. Volunteer at a homeless shelter or a food bank. Like nursing homes, organizations such as homeless shelters or food banks get lots of help during the holidays. But they still need help throughout the rest of the year. You can provide that help by doing such things as passing out food trays or doing inventory at a food bank.
  4. Tutor children (or even adults) in reading. Books can open up entire worlds but many people won’t experience these worlds because they don’t know how to read. By tutoring them in reading you are enabling them to discover other cultures or learn a new skill. Contact your public library for possible tutoring opportunities.
  5. Coach a sport for kids. Sports are not only good to keep kids physically fit, but they can help teach kids about teamwork and leadership. By coaching a sports team, you help prepare kids for their futures.
  6. Help build homes for the poor. Through Habitat for Humanity you can help build homes for low-income families. Not only will you help the poor but you will learn a little about home construction.
  7. Provide extra help for a disabled person. Once a week, I have someone from church come by for an hour or two to help me with little things that I can’t do myself because of my disability. This can be anything from addressing envelopes to going grocery shopping. Contact organizations such as the Muscular Dystrophy Association to find out what opportunities are available in your area.
  8. Build a web site or a blog for a charity. A few years ago I built a web site for a local youth ministry called Aim Right Ministries. I still maintain the site for them and update it when they do things like their annual quilt auction. What technical skills can you offer a charity?
  9. Provide business mentoring. If you’ve built a successful business, you can provide mentoring to others to help them succeed. This can be done on your own or through organizations such as SCORE.
  10. Become a foster parent or adopt a child. I listed this last because there is no greater way to make a difference in a person’s life than to be a parent. Hundreds of thousands of children in the United States need foster parents and many of these are waiting for adoption. There are also many children in countries such as China or Romania that need to be adopted. Parenting is a great responsibility but it is also a great blessing.

With my criticism of the show Secret Millionaire, I don’t want to leave you with the impression that I’m against financial donations. Charities do need money to operate. But the next time you’re writing a check to a charity ask yourself what additional ways you can make a difference.

My list is obviously incomplete. So help me out … what other ways can we really make a difference in people’s lives?

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Nov 10

When People Say “No, You Can’t” or How Not to Give in to Discouragement

Emotional Jason Mitchener 3 Comments »

No!

(Photo by JuLiEn LoZeLLi)

David Ring was born with cerebral palsy and was orphaned at an early age. Years later, after he became a Christian, he felt the call to preach. People tried to discourage him, saying his slurred speech would never allow him to preach. David ignored them and went on to become a nationally known preacher who speaks to over 100,000 people a year. When speaking about all the obstacles he overcame, David challenges his audience, “I have cerebral palsy. What’s your problem?”

My father Gene Mitchener was also disabled. He spoke all over the country at conferences and hospitals. He once said, “Nature disables us, but we allow people to handicap us.”

Often we let people discourage us. Can you imagine how different the world today would be if more people had given in to discouragement?

“Simon Peter, stop that preaching! You’re just a fisherman.”

“Helen Keller, you’re blind and deaf. You have no business writing.”

“Abraham Lincoln, you’ve lost more political races than you’ve won. Quit trying to become president.”

“Orville and Wilbur, that thing will never fly. Just give up.”

How Not to Give in to Discouragement

  1. Realize You Have Unique Abilities - God has created us each with unique abilities that no one else has. We need to use those abilities, even when they don’t make sense to others.
  2. Understand that Discouragers Are Often Belittlers - Often the people who try to discourage us the most are just trying to belittle our accomplishments. They most likely do this because they haven’t accomplished much themselves and by belittling us they are under the mistaken impression that they now look greater.
  3. Develop an “I Can” Attitude - Usually the only thing really stopping us from achieving great things is our own attitude. We give in to others discouraging us because we don’t truly think we can do it. To truly succeed, we need to develop an “I can” attitude.

Don’t let anyone discourage you. When others say, “No, you can’t,” tell them, “Yes, I can.”

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Oct 15

How to Help Fight Poverty

Emotional, Financial, Spiritual Jason Mitchener No Comments »

Poverty
(Photo by eren | thisvintagechica)

Today, as part of Blog Action Day, I’m contributing to the discussion on poverty.

I’ve never though of myself as a rich person, but according to the web site Global Rich List I’m in the top 14% of the richest people in the world. This number really changes my perspective and makes me want to do more to fight poverty. But here are two things I’m doing right now that you may also want to consider:

Sponsoring a Child

Through World Vision, I sponsor a six-year-old boy in the Dominican Republic named Marcos. Because Marcos lives in a community affected by the HIV/AIDS crisis, World Vision classifies him as a HopeChild. What this means is that I donate $35 per month instead of $30 and my extra donation helps Marcos’ community fight HIV/AIDS. Truthfully, $35 a month does not seem like much to me, but it does mean a lot to Marcos and his family. He will have a better chance at a healthy life and have opportunities for education.

My donation to World Vision is easy. At the beginning of every month, $35 is automatically withdrawn from my checking account via my debit card. I have it set so that the withdrawal happens right after my paycheck is deposited, meaning the money is guaranteed to be in my account for the donation.

Participating in Microloans

Through Kiva, I’m helping a man named Dilovar Bozorov in Tajikistan purchase a greater variety of food for his food stand. This will enable him to more easily provide for his wife and two children.

This is how microloans through Kiva work:

1) Lenders browse profiles of entrepreneurs in need, and choose someone to lend to. When they lend, using PayPal or their credit cards, Kiva collects the funds and then passes them along to one of our microfinance partners worldwide.

2) Kiva’s microfinance partners distribute the loan funds to the selected entrepreneur. Often, our partners also provide training and other assistance to maximize the entrepreneur’s chances of success.

3) Over time, the entrepreneur repays their loan. Repayment and other updates are posted on Kiva and emailed to lenders who wish to receive them.

4) When lenders get their money back, they can re-lend to someone else in need, donate their funds to Kiva (to cover operational expenses), or withdraw their funds.

I signed up for a Kiva account and browsed the profiles of entrepreneurs. I found Dilovar and noticed that he was close to his goal of $800 in loans. I loaned $25 through my Paypal account. When Dilovar repays the money, I will get credit in my Kiva account which I will re-lend to someone else. Each month, I’ll look for another entrepreneur and loan another $25 through Kiva. Because I’ll eventually be getting my money back from most of these entrepreneurs (the default rate for Kiva loans is very low), I’ll eventually be able to loan way more than $25 a month through re-lending.

What a great opportunity to help people help themselves!

How about you? How can you help fight poverty?

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Aug 27

How to Stop Worrying by Changing Your Perspective

Emotional, Mental Jason Mitchener No Comments »

Worrying
(Photo by Naty Rive)

Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be. - Abraham Lincoln

My friend Tony once said that if he ever ended up in a wheelchair then he would kill himself. In the eighties, he crashed his single-engine plane and broke his back. He was paralyzed from the waist down and confined to a wheelchair. So, did he kill himself? Thankfully, no. Over twenty years later, he’s still alive and not even close to considering suicide. He is happy because he chooses to be happy.

I have been disabled all of my life. I was born with a rare neuromuscular disease that now confines me to an electric wheelchair and requires me to use a ventilator to breathe. Many people in a similar situation to mine have given up on life. I can relate because when I started using a ventilator at age twenty-one I wanted to give up also. For six months, all I did was stay in bed and watch television. Have my circumstances changed since then? No. I changed my perspective. Each day, I choose how I am going to relate to my circumstances. For the most part I choose to be happy and productive.

What situations cause you to worry? Can you change your perspective and make a positive choice to be happy despite your circumstances? Happiness is a choice. Will you make that choice today?

Forward Habit’s series on worrying:

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Aug 26

How to Stop Worrying by Appreciating What You Have

Emotional, Mental Jason Mitchener 3 Comments »

Worrying
(Photo by Geekgirly)

Several years ago, a guy came up to me before a church service and said, “This morning I was really feeling sorry for myself. Then I came into church and saw you sitting here in a wheelchair. You actually are worse off than me, but you had a big smile on your face. So I figured what do I have to complain about?”

This man learned a valuable lesson in how to stop worrying. He began to appreciate what he had.

Too often we worry about what we don’t have and don’t appreciate what we do have. We worry that we have bills to pay, but we don’t appreciate that we have a job to pay those bills. We worry about the high cost of our monthly mortgage payment, but we don’t appreciate that we have a roof over our heads. We worry about the cost of gasoline, but we don’t appreciate that we have a car. We worry about a toothache, but we don’t appreciate that, in general, we have good health.

Sometimes it takes seeing someone worse off than ourselves before we appreciate what we have. This is even true for me. By many people’s standards, I’m severely disabled. I use an electric wheelchair because I’m basically paralyzed from the shoulders down. I use a ventilator because I can’t breathe on my own. Yet even with these difficulties, I’m not as bad off as other people. My roommate has ALS (or Lou Gehrig’s disease). In many ways, he is worse off than I am. Most days, he doesn’t even get out of bed. Although he might also say he’s better off than me in the fact that he has children and grandchildren. So, in whatever situation we are in, we can always find someone worse off than we are.

Learn how to stop worrying by appreciating what you have.

How do you stop worrying? Please share your tips in the comments.

Forward Habit’s series on worrying:

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Aug 25

How to Stop Worrying by Facing the Facts

Emotional, Mental Jason Mitchener No Comments »

Worrying
(Photo by spaceodissey)

Do you really want to stop worrying? Then you need to face the facts.

The first fact you need to face is the chances of the thing you’re worried about actually happening.

I know people who are afraid of flying in airplanes. Their main worry is that the plane is going to crash. However, they are far more likely to get into a car wreck than they are to get into a plane accident. The chances of an aircraft accident are about 1 in 11 million, while the chances of a car accident are about 1 in 5000.

So, figure out what the chances are of the thing you’re worried about actually happening. If the chances are slim, why are you worried?

The second fact you need to face is what’s the worst that can happen if the thing you are worrying about comes to pass.

Truly ask yourself what is the worst that can happen if the thing you are worrying about comes to pass. Once you figure this out, be willing to accept the worst. But don’t stop there. See if you can improve on the worst.

Let me give you an example from my own life. Last month, I was worried that a bill would come in before I could get money into my checking account. The worst that could happen is that the bill would come in before the money did and I would receive a $35 overdraft charge. So I was willing to accept the worst, but I wanted to improve on it. I contacted a few friends to ask if they wanted to buy some of my art prints. The end result was that yes I did have to pay a $35 overdraft charge, but I made up for it by selling $200 worth of art prints.

So, if you’re worried, follow these steps:

  1. Determine what’s the worst that can happen.
  2. Be willing to accept the worst.
  3. Try to improve on the worst.

How do you stop worrying? Please share your tips in the comments.

Forward Habit’s series on worrying:

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Aug 23

How to Stop Worrying by Living in Today

Emotional, Mental, Spiritual Jason Mitchener 1 Comment »

Worrying
(Photo by pedrosimoes7)

Do you want to stop worrying? Jesus gave us one way how.

Whether or not you’re a Christian, you’ve probably heard of the Lord’s Prayer. In less than a hundred words, Jesus gives us a beautifully simple prayer that covers everything from the heavenly to the earthly. It deals with temptation, forgiveness, the sanctity of God’s name, and the will of God.

It also gives us a key to stop worrying. Jesus prayed, “Give us this day our daily bread.”

Today’s bread for today. What a simple but profound thought.

We don’t want yesterday’s stale bread. Or do we? Some of us focus too much on the past. What we could have accomplished if we had just made different choices. What we would have spent our money on if we had saved more. What we should have said instead of what came out of our mouths. Could have. Would have. Should have. Does it really matter? We can’t change the past. Why focus on it?

“Give us this day our daily bread.” Today’s bread for today.

We don’t want tomorrow’s bread either. We haven’t even baked tomorrow’s bread. Or have we? Are we spending so much time worrying about the possible trials of the future that we neglect the joys of today? Do we worry about whether we will have food to put on the table next month? Or next year?

“Give us this day our daily bread.” Today’s bread for today. Not yesterday’s stale bread. Not tomorrow’s unbaked bread. But today’s fresh bread!

What do you do to stop worrying? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

Forward Habit’s series on worrying:

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Aug 19

Causes and Effects of Worrying

Emotional, Food, Mental, Physical, Spiritual, Tech Tips Jason Mitchener No Comments »

Worrying
(Photo by Dawn Ashley)

There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever. - Mahatma Gandhi

Worry is something we have all dealt with in our lives. Our worries can be small or large. They can last for a few moments or for a few decades. If not controlled, worrying can have serious consequences on our health.

What are some of the common causes of worrying?

  • Job issues
  • Relationships
  • Finances
  • Health

What are the negative health effects of worrying?

  • High blood pressure
  • Weakened immune system
  • Stress hormones causing strain on the heart
  • Increased muscle tension
  • Headaches
  • Stomach issues including ulcers
  • Sleep disorders
  • Obesity or conversely loss of appetite
  • Possible shorter life span

With all the health dangers of worrying, it is vitally important to learn how to stop worrying. Further blog posts will show you ways to stop worrying. So stay tuned …

How has worrying affected you?

Forward Habit’s series on worrying:

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Aug 03

Personal Development Lessons Inspired by the Band Third Day

Emotional, Mental, Spiritual Jason Mitchener 2 Comments »

Third Day
(Photo provided by thirdday.com)

Third Day has acquired some huge stats. The Georgia-based band has won 23 Gospel Music Association Dove Awards, three GRAMMY Awards, earned two consecutive American Music Award nods, and multiple ASCAP honors for their songwriting skills. They have also 24 No. 1 singles and sold more than six million albums.

Now Third Day has released their 11th studio album Revelation and their stats are bound to get more impressive.

With such huge success, the guys in Third Day must surely have excelled in personal development. So what personal development lessons can we learn from the band Third Day?

The Importance of Collaboration

Third Day has proved they can succeed completely on their own. But with their latest release, the band collaborated with other artists to take their music to another level. Pedal steel guitar player Robert Randolph adds his touch to the rocker “Otherside.” Chris Daughtry adds background vocals to “Slow Down,” and Flyleaf’s Lacey Mosely adds her beautiful vocals to the songs “Born Again” and “Run to You.”

Collaboration allows us to add ingredients to our efforts that we can’t produce alone. If we seek out collaborators that will complement our vision, we will be able to achieve stronger results.

Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone

Although Third Day is from Atlanta, Georgia, their initial recording session was in Charlottesville, Virginia. Home can be a comfort, but Third Day has found that it also can hinder creativity. Lead vocalist Mac Powell states, “[B]ecause you are thinking ‘I can be out of here in an hour and be home.’ By not really being able to look at our watches, it was just a productive time for us to be focused and I really feel like we got the results we needed.”

When we step out of our comfort zone, we are able to take risks that we may not attempt otherwise. We can also focus solely on our efforts.

Stretch Yourself Creatively

Not content to stick with the same old sound, Third Day traveled to Los Angeles to work with producer Howard Benson. Benson has worked with artists such as Daughtry, Hoobastank, P.O.D. and Flyleaf. Working with the new producer was often hard and intimidating for the band, but it allowed them to grow and stretch themselves creatively.

We can often fall into the trap of trying to repeat our success by doing the same thing we’ve always done. While this may work for a while, our efforts soon become stale. To remain fresh, we need to stretch ourselves creatively.

Remain True to Your Vision

While Third Day tried to grow musically with their latest release, their message remained true to their vision. The songs on the album present hope, a message not dissimilar from their album Wherever You Are. Longtime fans, collectively known as Gomers, can listen to the new CD and know the band has not compromised their vision.

Hopefully, we have a vision that is guiding our efforts. Although we can and should try new avenues of success, we need to remain true to our underlying vision. Our vision is the foundation upon which we build everything else.

How do bands like Third Day inspire you? Please let me know in the comment section.

(This post is part of Third Day’s Blogging Street Week)

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